This thing over there 1946 I left and this village hard days.

We moved down to Fish Camp. I think I have Agnes and Ina and Daisy, just baby, just a newborn baby.

We left down there. We set up tent and my daddy’s blind.

He’s down there. My kids... This part it’s hard for me to talk about it.

The tears run down to your face when you open up something. Down there, Fish Camp and nobody to come back from this village. Nobody.

Our chief tried to save Joann’s and em’s mother (Stella Healy). Move a to Big Gerstle, Little Gerstle.

Try to save that one little lousy girl, That baby.

It’s had to be my niece.

We stay Big Gerstle. I goin’ talk about today. But this thing...

After so many years I don’t want to face Healy Lake.

I just don’t want to face.

You have to be strong like me. I’m very very strong for anything.

Right now I had two daughters. All my family not well right now, Marylou (Ellen's grand daughter, daughter of Agnes and Paul Henry), Agnes (Henry) and my youngest daughter (Daisy Northway).

But some time I think about it: I wonder I gonna face it again. I don’t think so, unless I break in.

I come back over there and the first thing I see over there village, just like all, everything come out.

No smoke, lots grass. I look big cemeter(y) I don’t see cemeter(y)

I look at my family’s cemeter(y) I can’t see. That’s what it mean, “Mendees Cheeg, Teejuh”.

I meet that son. Paddy Healy have a one son too, but that one... It’s hard for me. So... You kids ready?

You don’t have to do anything. Just gets in your heart Even though you Nondlêd (White man), it touch from Healy Lake. It gets in you heart.

I never think you Nondlêd. You part of the family.

Mendees Cheeg, teejuh, You hoo, you hoo Ah eh ah hey eh eh, Hey ha hey hey hey, Hey hey ah ah hey hey, Ah eh yah ah ya,

Mendees Cheeg, teejuh, You hoo hoo you hoo, Ah eh ah hey eh eh eh eh, Hey hey ah ah hey hey, Ah eh yah hey hey hey hey hey Hey hey yah ah hey hey yah eh yaah

Mendees Cheeg, teejuh You hoo, you hoo, Ah eh yah hey hey hey hey hey hey, Ah eh yah ha, eh hey hey eh eh Hey hey yah ah eh eh yah hey yah,

Mendees Cheeg, teejuh, You oo You hoo Ah eh yah hey hey eh eh eh Hey hey ah ah eh hey yah eh yah, Hey hey yah eh eh hey hey Ah yeh hey eh yah eh yah

Mendees Cheeg, teejuh You hoo oo you hoo, Ah eh yah hey eh eh eh hey hey yah eh yah Ho.

Okay. That’s my ceremony. Okay, what you want I stop?

You want to talk about your deal?

From the audience: Grandma, maybe say what that song say. In English. What that mean?

Ellen: English? Mendees Cheeg, teejuh? That I feel sorry. I feel sorry for village.

No people. Nobody. (Ellen composed this song when she returned to Healy Lake in the 1950's after the epidemic of the 1940's when her parents, children and other relatives were all gone.)

That‘s what it mean, “Mendees Cheeg, Teejuh”. Oo hoo oo hoo.

That’s motor. Motor kind of like: Oo hoo oo hoo. That's what it mean: Oo hoo , oo hoo?

And that’s what it mean, “Mendees Cheeg, Teejuh”.

That’s like, gee, over there I feel sorry for that village. That’s what it mean.

You catch on now? (Inaudible response by village member)

Yeah, yeah it's goin' be there. Uh huh.

Urn, okay I just talk with him while ago.

I don't want double up, I don't want to repeat. Connie's goin' go like that and I goin' stop talk so...

Okay, we left...

This one I never talk about it. So I had to talk about this.

And all this and don't know yet. I never talk about it.

We stay at Big Gerstle and there.

And me and Alice (Joe) and Margaret (Kirsteatter, both daughters of Gus Jacob and Agnes Sam), Alec Joe, and my husband and Agnes and Daisy.

And I don't have my son by that time.

We stay way in the back ts'ôgh tah taats'étl chox nits'in'aay shˊíi dzeltth'ih

I'm sorry, I talk English after while.

He likes listen Healy Lake word. xandúg taats'ôgh tah dzeltth'ih ts'ôgh tah taats'étl chox shˊíi dzeltth'ih

And uh, we stay there then This one the kids don't know.

Alec Joe pass away Big Gerstle.

and then from there we don't know what to do.

Alec Joe don't belong to Tanacross, but we send him back to Tanacross being buried up there.

And then we stayed there. From there later on we move to Little Gerstle.

And me and my cousin Jeanie and my niece, Dahla,

and our chief, Johnny Healy,

and Alice and Margaret we stay there. Little Gerstle.

That's our little village too. We stay there and for long time we stay there.

And we don't have kids to worry about. Kids small to go school.

And we stay there and then my husband begin started sick.

And then even though we stay there, and then our chief go out trap to Ch'ich'ih Ndiig ndég ée_ eedlah debee gha é_

so the family eat. xundég ée_ eedlah ée_ xundég eedlah ts'i' debee é_ ey xuh tah ts'enh da'elsheek.

I, just finally he feed his family. That's mean, Ch'ich'ih Ndiig, that's the name, Indian name.

Way in the back. I been in there.

From this village I was... with my nine dog I went to that way in the back sheep country (this could be the Macomb plateau which was traditional sheet hunting territory of Healy Lake)

and I bring back whole sheep over there in the village. (one of many instances where Ellen was required to do what needed to be done regardless of traditional gender roles)2

So, man job, woman job, I did both.

So right now today I don't miss nothing. I guess somebody hold my hand, walk around like uh, it's cute.

Way in the back and then he went back last trip.

That's how you kids' grandpa's gone (this is Chief John Healy, grandfather to Patrick Saylor, JoAnn Polston, and Benjamin Saylor) Last trip he went back.

Get sheep, bring back sheep to Little Gerstle so, we goin' eat all.

And that big open place, ice.

all of sudden, dog sleigh just like that 'n, dog sleigh swing like that 'n our chief hit ice.

Roll down, roll down, roll down. And he fell down in ice.

Four rib broke this side. That's our chief.

It's the one our chief die while he's still young. And uh, start to hemorrhage.

He take to doctor, but he can't do nothin' so he start a hemorrhage.

And I gotta talk about this is correct story.

You kids, you don't know this part of story so

then later on he was gone right there.

That's how our chief been buried down there. Part of Mendees Cheeg people. Little Gerstle.

My niece, our chief, Steven Healy,

and her little sister, little girl,

and one more little baby's been buried, part of you, part of this village 's been buried. Little Gerstle.

From there we stay...

I don't know I want talk about this, but I just try to make it good,' cause this is other part, but, somehow, some people came to Little Gerstle.

Have a trouble with us.

And by (that) time my husband build house for me up there along side the road and my cousin and my niece down there, Little Gerstle..

Finally we move up to highway and that little log hut, lumber house,

with my kids. (moved to road in hopes of getting a school)

And then she had bad trouble.

Little Gerstle come out and with, we don't know.

Just right now if you did something you goin' get reward.

My kids don't know this one.

And bad trouble. What I did,

I left my three kids. I walked half way. Where nobody goin' see I put them.

And uh, really bad trouble over there in our house.

Three people come in. They all get rid of to each other

And uh, I was scared. Woman like me

I take my life any way for my niece and my cousin. That Little Gerstle, water just like that.

Water this much for me..

I told my husband, "Watch kids. I goin' walk down".

I walk down to Little Gerstle. That waters look pretty rough. I just jump.

I'm small. I almost float down. Water this much for me.

I went to other side to tell my niece, "Come on let's go.

Bad trouble up there".

And, you understand, Nodlêd iin é_ xeet'aan up there

"Come on let's go". All of them they all don't want go in that waters.

"If I did it, you girls goin' make it".

And we all hand each other. We go to that water and make it to other side.

Soakin' wet I don't have time to think anything.

So we walk back to the road ..

I put all my family in in special (indiscernible)

I put my kids and my husband together. and nobody have gots ... Me and Margaret we have to walk back to my house.

That automatic, my mother... Before my mother goin' die she bought me automatic. I worry about my gun.

Sure hate, but I don't have that gun today. I went back to our house.

That gun was rnissin' already.

And Carl Innistrom, he's old time next to us. He's real old time..

Nondlêd. He's real old time.

He's real nice person.

He's next door to us. It's the one he tell us he want to live next door to us.

He likes Daisy. This Daisy's a little baby so cute.

He never see kids like that so he just make us move to next door.

Every in the morning the old man bring maybe some little food in; just enough for my little daughter.

He do that. That's why he wants we move a to.

And then, he all...Somebody all get rid of them, all of them.

The person's name's Leon Jones.

And sure enough, he went to Little Gerstle.

He break up cache, house, those dog.

And uh, I so thankful I save all my a relatives.

From there we went to half way. Live on the top. Can't just open place we live.

And from there, I started go court.

That real hard one went through, especially you come out from little village.

But you know what you doing.

You don't have to freed what you goin' do. You can't say, "No, I can't do.".

If you Indian 'nough, you gotta look forward for.

You gotta go, no matter what.

Don't you think, "Oh, I can't make it". No.

Indian never think ...Indian have real strong feel, very strong feel.

And Indian don't listen to people there, there, there. No. Naltsiin gotta walk right straight. Keep walkin'.

Keep walkin'. You push everything.

Bad stuff, put it behind.

Somebody come along and tell you off,

Woo you goin' get so mad you don't know what to do.

But it don't work. That's why I talk to you last Fall.

Exactly I open up to you.

Sometimes we get mad it don't work.

We cannot say anything in front of our little children out of respect.

We goin' say something to our little children LEARN.

Goin' remember.

And we can't not talk about other person in front of our kids.

That's what I raise up my kids.

I never talk.

When I have company, I tell my kids, "Go upstairs visit. I have company".

And feel free to tell stories.

Naltsiin 'n very strong. Strong feel.

Us Indian, we don't want nobody push us around.

We don't want nobody tell us what to do.

We don't want nobody to say, "Do this. Do this". No.

Not me. Nobody's gonna tell me what to do. I'm really mean for that.

I want do something, I gotta do.

Like after all I go through, some my brother come out, say, "I don't want my sister dance anymore".

I think to, I laugh, tell his wife, "What kind of Indian he is"?

I'm not goin' die.

That's my Indian life, my Native dance, my Native food.

That's our Native life through to background.

From there, we call that Five Mile Hill over there.

We climb that hill.

Little Gerstle after our chief's gone, no food. We don't know what to do.

That's inside Fish & Wildlife (referring to Alaska Department of Fish and Game and state land). We don't know what to do.

And my husband worry about his cousin.

He don't want... Chief's wife, he say, "I don't want my cousin hungry".

Little Gerstle after we come from, after all funeral and all done,

we don't have no potlatch, no nothing.

We couldn't help it.

After we put him away real good,

our chief dress good.

His wife dress him up good, fancy stuff.

I'll never forget,

his grandma told me, I sewing just like Popeye and perfect too, not any old way.

Nach'enihtlˊú'u. That's mean I don't have to sewing any old way.

He gave me (indiscernible). Gee, you think I goin' finish that (indiscernible) in two or three hours? "Yeah", (indiscernible).

She save her little pocket knife out, put on. and

"Oh, gee". I grab. I never say nothing. I just grab 'n.

Gee I was eatin' all full with beads I finish. Here.

K'od daan k'exdaht' ee_. You goin' be a woman some day.

You word from your grandma and you grandma, you grandma.

We come back. No food. No job.

We climb that Five Mile hill like that with our three kids.

We down to that lake with our fish camp. Not fish camp, camp. We make ts'ôgh shax (log house). We don't make tent. Ts'ôg shax tah.

Just for you I talk my Native tongue. And we make ts'ôgh shax.

Lots tsôgh (spruce wood) we cut.

Inside we had tough canvas and campfire. We sit there and whatever we got we never eat.

We give it to our kids instead of. Me and my husband we go without eat.

Whatever we got and that night big bull moose at the end of lake.

We got huge bull moose. Lots ch'ek'ax.

And we cook campfire. We eat good.

Fast eh, we cut that meat. We work fast. People hungry, so we make dry meat fast.

Try best we can and we smoke it little bit.

Then we left that meat there and we came to village and we started hunt for rats (muskrats).

And rats and you just work around the clock and you just do thing and you dry everything and we load the dog pack and we go back to Little Gerstle

That time real nothing and we come back with dry meat and dry rats.

Lots little goody and everybody has smile face and happy.

And some day we run into bad trouble.

And uh, from there, we go there to village.

We started off with Dot Lake. We don't get along.

I just goin' say good part. Other part I don't want to talk about.

We don't get along but I got stuck with my kids go school.

And after my kids graduate, oh boy. I move a to Tok look around for job.

I find job and I work.

This one, I skip it out. Like from Little Gerstle,

She don't accept my dog in the bus. And my kids and my husband sick. I put it in bus. From Little Gerstle.

But this time I started walk road.

My gun, my pack and my dog.

From Little Gerstle I walk all way up to Sam Lake you know where I talk about Sam Lake trail?

I made it from Little Gerstle.

This, I don't know, I can't make it.

I set up tent. And I go sleep. And I spent night next day

I walk to Dot Lake with my dog.

This one, I almost forgot it.

So I did quite a bit.

And we walked this hill you guys see, we been all over. this whole, this one right there.

Always we walk. We don't ride.

No easy life. You jump in four wheel and boat and if you go in boat you gotta have paddle.

You hungry? You go in that boat. You go 'round.

You get moose. No makes difference.

We got our moose with paddle. If you don't .. k'ii ts'eyh shíi tatint'ox.

You shoot you ducks there.

That's for your food.. That's Indian life.

This part I never talk about it.

I'm glad this morning it's come out. I'd better talk about it so these three kids know.

What's the back life? How painful we go through.

Today real like all my grandkids 'n treat me like...

Spoil me. I'm spoiled rotten. I put my finger there.

Something down, "Yah"!

Something I don't want to work on, "Nah". Don't need to work.

I got one after me right there.

This Fall I goin' make you work. I joke.

And uh, we went back. From there we happy.

All my cousin 'n have food. We go to George Lake with paddle to river.

And we stay with Frank Luke.

For fish, we dry fish.

And we do little thing. On the end we tan moose skin, beaver skin,

The end her grandma make moccasin and we have no time to do anything now.

I start a make moccasin. I start a do anything.

And we go Fairbanks, we bring back truck load.

Just us woman like us for this one, give us money. This one.

Today I don't want sewing anymore. I go through so much.

When that time I sewing for potlatch.

My mother used to tell me: Tedhihts'eyh dé', ch'axon ké' ts'í' su'u tighuhts'eyh. So you know what it mean? If you want "make tea",

gotta be sewing stuff.

Yeah. That's what it mean.

She make fun with women and they laugh for each other.

All women gotta work together all time.

And then

last time we all go 'round.

All round to corner to corner to corner with my husband and last trip we make all every each corner we make,

that's my husband last trip.

Then we move a to Dot Lake for school. That's where my husband die.

Woman like me I go through a lotta hard life.

If I talk about it, lotta tear on my eye.

You, you young. That thing gotta get in Gets in.

One day the one talk with you,

that person is gone. nasaa'aa'aa_ ts'í'.

Tear gonna run down to you cheek. ey ch' e right now mexnek_ee. All of you.

Sun's goin' down, that word's goin' hit you. That's what I'm doing, my mother.

I never nag to my mother. Never. I do anything for my mother.

Hand, knees, I not 'shame.

Brown soap, who ever use, have a Tide anything.

Hand soap, brown soap, I used to wash, scrub my mother's.

And the blanket, I take it out during the day.

Make sure it's clean. Fresh air. I bring it back, make the bed..

I never say, "I work too much."

Sometime I haul wood. Sleigh rope close to me. Sometime I bring.

I'm very very strong woman when I'm a young like you.

I put my sleigh way over there. I bring one cord o' wood with my neck

just so my mother 'n my daddy's warm in Auntie's house down there.

Linda (Erickson, daughter of Margaret and Paul Kirsteatter), she done so many things for me when I was up there.

She bring food, cook.

And all this time bother me why she's not that old.

I'm glad you gave me good moose.

Hope she's well. I hope she come back.

You start it all over again.

Change his life... I look forward to be change his life.

That drink, that drink, what you life goin' do?

I goin' tell story that you remember. Not only me, even Connie's goin' use for her grandkids. Even her, she's goin' use.

"Hey, I in Healy Lake, This old Grandma tell stories like that. It's nice."

Maybe he's goin' tell his kids, "Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this." It's hard.

But I did listen every word. Every word I listen.

That's why I use that right now.

Yes, I'm complete educated my Indian word, but it's not that.

Lot of people say, "Oh, I know anything. I goin' speech," but not me. I not goin' say that, no.

You gotta really, really, really patient for word.

Whatever you have to say, Teejuh in your heart for other people.

Maybe you share food, little bit o' bite with you other friend, that's what it mean, "Teejuh".

Like last Fall, "What he got he just givin' me? Fat?"

Pat. I still have it in my 'fridgerator. I still have little bit from potlatch.

He know I gotta have something to eat.

That's what we did. That's how it begin, started.

Up to 1946. And '50,'51. '51 from this village non-educated woman.

I don't go school. No kids over there.

I don't go school, nothing. Complete nothing.

'51 Dot Lake I got job.

One day, it's all my boss taught me. Just like that I get. Use you brain.

And uh, gee I want, I goin' make.

No, I could do. What kind I am?

And I gotta job. I work. I stick with it, my job.

All those job, I never get fire one day and not either one job.

Never.

I walk two mile to my job.

Sometimes three mile. Sometimes seven days week job. Sometimes ten hour job. Sometimes fourteen hour job.

All day and night shift if this other person don't shown up, I got do their job.

I never nag at them. I never say, "Oh, I'm too tired, I don't want do it." No, I never say that.

You want job? Stand on you feet, work.

That's me. That's my life. This is, I want share with you kids,

and I got lotta thing that plan on already, to talk about it.

And some reason this one, I feel so good to come back my little village. Even one night do me any good.

And I'm glad you kids come. Talk with you to listen.

My back days, my mother and my daddy tell me story. We just sit there. We never move around, no.

He had little willow. It was this big.

We started attention, we don't 'tention, he goin' hit you

How you goin' make it live when you grown up? You woman.

You just sit there all way through. Sometime one, two hour story we listen.

It's hard. Right now if we hit our kid, "Heh, Heh." He's goin' cry a lot.

But that's our days.

Our days, we don't sleep all day. "Oh, I want sleep some more. Ah."

You know what my dad used to tell me?

Not only one person I talk. All of you guys. Pass on to your kids.

No makes difference. Nondlêd goin' listen. He goin' pass on to their kids.

We not different.

Like I say, at these people for one, I don't want nobody come to my village besides them and them.

I'm pretty fussy. I always tell Pat,

"Don't bring nobody over here." I make a state(ment).

But this time I accept.

If he wants somebody bring, go ahead, but...I don't know.

Gotta be all Native. This is Native village.

Dendeey shuh keey .. neech'ah wutsey. Not goin' step in.

I'm glad all people other side, it still belong to this village.

Other side I see all fancy house .. We used to be never have a...

I don't know who bring them? I wonder sometime.

It don't belong to them.

This village is Naltsiin village.

Over there, old village history story I hear from way, way, way before anything. He have village over there.

All the way through to Naltsiin.

We have few Diik'aagyu in our village and sometimes something bother me, but it's okay.

Maybe it's good for you guys to make company. You hear motor, you see something,

but, I really don't care that much. I got just as much right to say, "This is my village."

And I'm old too. I'm just right to talk about it.

And from there, okay, I talk about all this what we done with you grandfather. I never talk about this.

From there after everybody die, we all ...

My niece move a wrong direction, got married.

My niece and I we used to be like that.

We share our one dollars with each other. We watch each other.

Make sure one don't hungry, Make sure other one dress good.

We share. We share. We share. We walk together, 40-Mile together.

It's right there we split.

She say, "My aunt, I fall in love. I goin' get married." Whoo! Okay. That's where my niece left me. 40-Mile.

Got married.

That's where... turn out. I never talk about this with you kids...

Naxuh ddel ts'ey wudzih nts' e' me' atdeyh? He knows. Ddhel tsey miisi" nts' e' me' atdeyh?

You know what's Indian name? That over there,

Xaagos Menh, Swan Lake. That long hill, Ts'eeg.

Xelt'aaddh Menh. Ch'uxeel Ddhel.

That where moose always, Ch'endaag, moose like eat dirt.

That's my Native word I'm gonna say, Ch'endaag. Moose like that thing he eats. He eats the dirt.

That's what Ch'endaag, that hill over there just like basketball field.

It's one he call Ch'uxeel. Way in the back.

Way long time ago, in top that hill, person's name, his kind like...

Maybe that's why over there he call very strong village.

And man live over there in top. He don't want nobody disturb.

So he set in top. His name is Ch'uxeel.

He make Indian basketball with chox, porcupine quill. And basketball he play.

I hear other side just used to be beautiful and all bunch of young kids go over there he play with that Indian basketball, Ch'uxeel. Ch'uxeel, that's basketball, been made with porcupine decoration with... feather and he just play ...

That's why he call Ch'uxeel Ddhel… All the way to that Healy River,

Tsaadley Ndiig. Tsa' Tu' Cheeg.

Way over there, big hill, Tuu'eyat'een and this, Dahtsaa Di'ee'aa Nde' Uh, Ch'endaag, Little creek. Little creek.

I wonder it's still there. Little Creek, Taak'etth. Taak'etth Ndiig he call just like Volkmar. Taak'etth Ndiig he call.

Dahtsaa Di'ee'aa. What Nondlêd way call it? Cache. High Cache. Indian way, Dahtsaa Di'ee'aa.

And k'aay k'ee. And Tsaadleey Ndiig connect with K'aay K'ee. Tsaadleey those big huge fish, Fall time. There's lots in that creek.

That's why you take all you supply.

And that's what it mean, Tsaadleey Ndiig. You connect with K'aay K'ee.

K'aay out there someplace, this big animal. Used to be lot over there in village. During the night time just stand up.

He make hole so much with where's cemetar(y).

And I don't know what happen. I never see K'aay anymore. You see? Whew! Used to ...Oh, used to be lot during the night. (From the audience: "Groundhog"?)

I guess. (Probably marmot) That's what it mean, K'aay K'ee.

He name of that little animal, K'aay K'ee. That's Chief Healy.

After you pass K'aay K'ee, there's some huge ddhe_ those pink stuff tseyh.

That's Indian paint. That's real...

This one I want you guys remember. Maybe someday, even though different, but maybe Pat go round see that little hill. I don't know how...

No young people go there. No. Not woman. Chief, himself, he goin' climb that hill. He have a little skin bag and he just pick.

And just all full bag... He call tseyh. Indian paint.

He paint you face if you if you, you're mad.

If you're really mad and you're strong one, he put that tseyh on you.

Somebody come close to you and stand out there, "Oo, he looks mean".

And that's one tseyh. That's where that tseyh from.

You gotta get it. That's real real pinkt, real nice pink.

And uh, they call it tseyh. That's where that Indian paint come out.

You touch something with it. stay there. Never faded out.

All you kids don't understand that's why English and I mix ...

It's hard for me to be English and my Native tongue. mix,

and also I loose out my Native word from Healy Lake little bit.

Just touch. And uh, xundég eeteen. aadaa'a ddhe_ denh tah naghin'aay connect with Sah Tuu Cheeg.

From there, way up there someplace, big lake, called Fish Lake. Łuug Menh.

And I don't know how you guys call. I don't know it's still there or not, but so changed. So changed.

xuh ch'e ts'edoghanih. You know what ts'edoghanih mean? JoAnn and Pat know...

Ts'edoghanih mean you real real gotta prepare.

If you want go, you miss out all those Grandma's stories.